dancingwithmygirlishwilfulness

Tuesday, April 24, 2007 11:10 PM

OMG.
SYF is like in 10hrs plus or so!
im feeling kind of nervous now!
i'm afraid that last minute something might just go wrong.
what if i for got to bring something?
or not in a good condition?
or what if i dance the wrong steps?
wrong position?
slip and fall?
what if?
blah blah blah.
and the list continue

OHH GOODNESS!
TOUCHWOOD!
-slap mouth-
alright2,
maybe some of us are feeling very nervous.
BUT well,
HEY we got to make sure that our nervousness is not more than our urge in getting that XXX.
PLEASE.
no more COP.
we work really hard and
this time
we want our rewards
after getting all those never ending blue blacks, achings, bruises, etc.
i strongly believes that all of us have trained hard and work hard for it.
we are PREPARED!
so tmr,
we are all going to enjoy ourselves on stage,
FEEL the dance,
every single seconds,
we only have one chance
to prove the others wrong!
and show that we have potentials.
we have come so far.
and we jus have to make this ONE TIME right!
the JUDGEMENT DAY!

alrights,
i've gtg.
need to rest early.
but again
JIA YOU DANCERS!!
no matter what,
just SMILE AND SHINE on stage.
and dance with the feel!
dynamics remember!
and it's been a really great time with you all.
great time and effort.
love you guys.

STRIVE HARD FOR SYF!

Sunday, April 22, 2007 4:59 PM

HOORAY!!
enjoyed myself yesterday.
it was a terribly fun day!
though it started off with headache.
and causes me to be NEARLY late.

but i can say i was quite fortunate too.
as i didnt know that have to bring costumes and wear leotards and all.
luckily, i have a habit of wearing leotard,
and have put my costume in dance studio on friday.
so i dont have to worry.

syf training was as usual.
however,
was really starving.
didnt get to eat breakfast.
was NEARLY late you see.
so was on the verge of giving up.
cause my mind was like
"argghh. -whines- im starving. im tired. i cant take it anymore."
then i told myself
"come on shuyu,
slap yourself!
it's only left with less than 4 practices
and this is how you give in to your tiredness.
is this the way you should react if you want to a dancer in the future?!
plus it's almost 12 already.
one more hour to go!
time is so limited already!
you cannot dance anymore after syf
cause you have studies to cope.
and you're sure going to miss dancing.
so meanwhile while you still can dance.
dance ALL you can.
DONT ever regret for not giving it all.
i'll hate you for sure!
GO SHUYU!
it's mind over matter"

thus i went to brink some water.
yea, and you know what!
it seems like some kind of potion.
it cure my tiredness and increased my energy level.
and so, though still a little restless.
i tried to polish up my steps with the fellow dancemates.

during break,
as the teachers and instructor are dealing with some make up problems,
we were stretching.
and so i wanted to zi hui and jia hui to help me in the "swim over".
which means doing a side split with ur stomach touching the floor and push yourself forward so that you can close ur side split behind you.

i can tell you.
it hurts like hell.
ur inner thighs can feel as though they going to snap any moment.
after a few attempts,
im still very scare.
until everyone was like encouraging me.
and i kinda feel the stress
plus zi hui says.
"you want to be a dancer right? just force yourself. dont care about the pain!"
then i told myself :
YESSSS! shuyu, just swim over.
you will be able to feel the achievement!

so i kept thinking of swimming over
opened my split to my max
AND
-snaps-
in just few secs time,
I DID IT!
all thanks to the sec4s dancers!

moral of this is that
encouragement,
positive mind
and stress
are needed for me to
MAKE IT.
so same as my studies.
after syf,
i shldnt be found dozing off
and letting my soul to wander around.
must give me stress.
and i mean MUST
i might be annoy at anyone at that particular moment who is giving me stress.
but i bet i'll be grateful to you if i do well in my studies.
so yea, let help one and other
and excel in everything we do.
strongly believe that everyone can make it.

back to yst,
after dance prac,
went to eat with the sec4s.
afterthat, we went to rent step up.
while leaving cp,
it started raining!
and we dashed across with realizing that lijing and jia hui actually have umbrellas!
godd.

we were obviously drenched upon reaching ying zhu's house.
so we played with the rain under ying zhu's block for a while before going up.
after playing,
we went up to dry ourself.
and start with our beauty session (syf coming) plus watching step up.
but we only can watch one disc
as ying zhu have to go out.
we felt guilty imposting her man.
apologies!

lastly,we played badminton.
man, should have play earlier!
it was so fun!
am so going to play it some other free time!
:DDD

had a great time with the dancers
i bet i'll miss them when we finally step down!
and not forgetting my friends.
i love them all.
xDDDD

3 MORE DAYS TO THE JUDGEMENT DAY!
break a leg!
we are going to make all our bruises, blue-blacks, cuts, achings, and etc
WORTHWHILE.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007 9:14 PM

CONGRATS TO MY BROTHER!
gotten the scholarship.
to study in UK.
we're really3 ELATED.

BUT WELL,
this could mean that.
i MUST MUST MUST get in to university.
get a degree at least.
ya right.
DREAM ON.

i wish i could.
GOD,
can you just like enhance my brain cells?
or like make me smarter.
or at least alittle more determine
or endure more
or alittle less lazy
AHHHHHHHHHH

i only love dancing.
dont feel like studying.
but well, my flexibility is another prob!
i might look that im okay,
but compared to the others.
i always feel so inferior.
so what can i do in the future?
TELL ME.

the fact is i can never be better than my brother.
and i always never fail to feel ashame of myself.

but i have admit,
my brother is my role model.
he is the only one that can really motivates me.
i will definitely miss him while he's away in uk.

the only thing i feel about myself now is :
USELESS.

and ive decided.
i want to say:
GOODBYE SHUYU.
I HATE THE LAZY YOU.

and i tell you all what.
instead of feeling low all the time.
and breakdown
-please, not depress okay-
im going to make my move.
something more meaningful.
i will not online,
but maybe blog and check on friendster once in a blue moon if needed.
eg after syf results.
UNTIL i got As on every subject.
i WANT to fight for my dreams.
i am different.
i have my stress.
and you all have yours.
i wouldnt care much about anyone.
and neither should you all comment on how i want to fight for my dreams.
although i am still uncertain about which path to go.
but for now.
im aiming for hopefully straight As if not,
a 180 degrees side split, nice turnouts, nice pointing and all.
and etc.

shallnt elaborate any further.
as long as i know what i should be doing.
alright,
i should get started.

and yea,
my mum told me.
O LEVELS is not PSLE.
i know2.
SSIIIGGGHHHH~

so long~
i hope i am still this determine after a few weeks or months or years.
FAREWELL.

Monday, April 16, 2007 7:45 PM

i guess break downs can be rather contagious yea?
it happened to me today.
sigh~
although this is not like the first time i feeling so low.
but well,
i guess letting it out wasnt a bad idea after all.
finally.

i guess i have been bearing with it
and try to be the happy shuyu i create.
still, i mention it alot of time before.
i hate to cry in front of people.
i hate the weak side of me.
because i'd feel that i will look like a jackass.
esp when i myself told my juniors that if they feel stress, must let it out
then they might feel better.

reason for me breaking down?
STUDIES?
SYF?
TALENTIME?
my goals?
i dont know.
really.
it's a mixture of everything.
i really cannot catch up with some of the subjects.
and i should be trainning well for dance if i ever want to be a dancer in the future.
BUT.
im bloody hell LAZY.
i detest it.
sometimes i really wonder if im born lazy?
how am i going to get rid of the laziness?
plus am i always finding excuses to cover up my stupidity?

moreover,
i kept asking myself.
if i cant cope with Os.
and if i am still not that flexible,
how am i going to cope with As and dance?

i have told myself before.
SHUYU,
YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT.
all you have to do is be determined.
have strong urge in what you want.

but whats the use?!
ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS!
all i do is chant.
ARGH~
im on the verge of typing bad words.

however,
there is still this lil part of me telling me
to be just the me.
perhaps i have been trying to prove that i can be better than who you all think i am.
because i just hate people looking down me.
maybe i shouldnt be so self conscious.
and have self esteem.
i know what i am good at.
and i dont need people's approval.
i have my good points.
and i dont need others to discover.
all i have to do is to just believe in myself.
that i am great.
i will fight for my goals.
and i will.
achieve them.

sigh~
well oh well.
feelings are certainly complicated!
what i really need is.
TIME.

p.s thanks to all.
much appreciated. (:

i really sincerely hope that i'd have more determinations.
JC and dance schools
my desires.

Sunday, April 08, 2007 10:27 PM

ohh man,
now i should be jolly well doing my PILES of homeworks right?
well oh well.

was helping my brother checking something on the net.
then yea.
here i am.
ahahahs.

anw,
just now as i was unaware of the table behind me,
which i shouldnt be
i stood right up after getting my worksheet on the floor
and yea,
i bet theres a blueblack.
im always clumsy.
i think that explains why i am so stupid.
compared to my brother.
since young,
esp soccer balls, always likes to bump onto my head,
otherwise volleyball.
see the reasons why i hate balls?
alright.
fine, i dont hate balls.
maybe just afraid.
sometimes
ahahahs.

ohgod.
next two weeks are going to be very busy.
and im broke.
argh, whatever.
starve to death then.
ahahahas.
joking.
will bring food i suppose.

yes,
i bet i didnt mention that i might be joining talent time right?
sigh~
i also dont know if i should join.
it's so last min!
friday,krystal suddenly call me and ask if im interested.
so i thought fine.
since it's my last year,
maybe i should just give it a try.
still~
am really worried about some stuff.
but also very excited.
have come out with some ideas for choreography already.

aiyah.
okay2
i know.
my feelings are very confusing.
indeed i am very confused.
and ure confused too right?

btw, yesterday was a long day!
morning went to ying zhu's hs for our first talent time meeting.
but have to leave at 11.
celebrating ly's birthday in advance you see.

we went to escape theme park.
my 2nd time.
was extremely excited.
went for all rides except for one.
the inverter or something.
will go upside down one.
man.
i think i will scream like one kind
when hanging upside down in mid air.
but i would like to try it next time. xDD

the 360 degrees and 15m slide esp
were so thrilling!
love it man.
SOO FUNN!
nah, not true
i love all rides.
EXCEPT for the haunted house or something.
it's so dark that u cnnt see anything at first.
when the brave liying and filzah went in first,
marshiela and i heard their scream
and the more we want to back out.
but we cant!

so well,
liying and filzah came back and encourage us to go in.
and we hold onto each other arms in a really tight but funny position when going in.
i didnt even dare to peep.
just scream like nobody's business.
cause i was scare that something might just pop out.
but in the end.
nothing pop out.
just some scary status i guess.
aiyoh.
so embarrassing!

liying left after escape to catch a dinner with her juniors.
while us went for dinner.
had a really stupid but funny game while waiting for my dad.
it was the "cannot chow your teeth" game.
laughed like hell.
or should i say smile?
cause cannot show teeth what right.
ahahahs.

yst was a blast!
really enjoyed the day with them!
upload photos next time.
shallnt elaborate any further.
i can say it was a fun yet tiring day!
typical huh.
ahahahs.

at night, promise to watch dvds with bro.
but was dead tired already.
so we watch until one only.
normally we can stay up till 5 or 6 in the morning.
yst, no way.
i need SLEEP.
heee. =P

and so.
tmr's school again.
really dont feel like going school.
last time i hardly feel this way.
cause i love schooling
but now,
too much homeworks lar!
simply have no time.
plus we are joining talent time.
sigh~

ohh yes,
i suddenly remember once i feel quite low
of my future again.
im very scare i chose the wrong path.
jc or poly?
i really have no idea.
want jc.
but im afraid i cnnt cope well.
aarrgghhh~
i hate making DECISIONS.
and i kept worrying until after school.
then i start listening to some songs.
it kind of brighten up my mood.
yea, it works.
and im the happy shu yu afterthat. (:
hee.

MUSIC and DANCE are my life. xDDD

Friday, April 06, 2007 3:12 PM

alrights.
sorry for not updating for a MONTH!
ahahas.

well, partly lazy.
by looking at the photos i want to upload,
i can die.
i've got so many so many photos i want to upload and stories to tell!
ahahahs.
stories?
sounds funny.

partly busy.
let u all look at my schedule :
monday: SRP (structure remedial program right?) then syf trainning.
tuesday : syf training.
wednesday : SRP and achievement rehearsals for the past 2 weeks.
thursday : SRP. school ends at FOUR!
friday : syf training.
and everytime i reached home,
im totally wore out.

plus i have been trying to spend quality time with my family.
especially for now,
whenever my brother is book out.
for the past 3 weeks,
my brother had two weeks of "vacations"
then report to the air force school on the third week.
but he's able to come home every night.
and thats only for that particular week.
which means when my brother is at home,
i can only use the computer for a short while.

sigh~
and there are still piles and piles of homeworks awaiting for me.
just how i wish i can say:
"GOODBYE HOMEWORKS!"
well oh well.
i should jolly well finish them up ASAP.
had been neglecting studies.
which is not very appropriate if i want to get in a JC.
sigh sigh sigh
am not really setting high hopes though
since everyone says that JC is absolutely stressful.

actually i want to get in a jc is partly because of dance too.
jc's dances are always very good.
speaking of which,
dance is always on my mind.
sometimes i really wonder if i love dance that much.
currently,
IT IS.
it's like my life.
i feel the presence of dance deeply.
and just feel like dancing all the time!

but whenever i thought of dance as my future,
i feel dishearted.
it's very competitive.
there are alot of dancers nuture since young.
how can we compared to them?
SIGH~

alright2.
i realised that i havent started updating yea?
or did i?
whatever.
ahahas

so had been sick since monday.
why?
all because of.
FOOD.
my brother lar.
every book out would want to eat fries, and all those heaty stuff.
so as to enjoy his FREE days.

so i accompanied him.
okay fine.
i admit i also want to eat.
hee.
-blush-
so tempting okay!
this time,
we ate two days straight.
thus resulting on my sore throats
which will lead the other sickness.
however, he seems fine.
iuhfiufhsdkhf.

mon - weds,
was bearing with that bloody cough and sore throat of mine.
ate like 5-6 packets of WOODS.
fever was on off on off.
finally on weds night,
flu drop by too.
and the whole night was like
SUFFOCATING?
blocked nose.
and flam(it's spelled like that right) in my throat.

thus, thursday.
i didnt went to school.
until 2 plus then i went for my dental appointment.
was late again.
forever you know.
they will say: "what time is your appointment? ure late again."
aiyoh.
so embarrassing.
but yst it's due to a traffic jam cause by an accident.

anw,
what a bad news.
something that was fixed into my temporary tooth broke.
need to fix it asap.
but since i have syf durring april.
next apppointmen date will be on may.
-whining- I DONT WANT INJECTIONS!

ohh the tall female dentist whom i said can be a model does not work there anymore.
the current dentist who is taking my case is a male.
and after knowing my age,
he told me :
"i thought u are like fourteen or fifthteen you know. you're so tiny,so small size."
and i was like.
ohman.
do i really really look that young?
iszit a advantage then?
ahahahs.

alright then.
thats all im gg to update for now.
ahahahs.
will post photos when im free.
which will be like maybe after Os
then u all can see thousands and millions of photos posted in my blog.
ahahhas.
KIDDING.
but well, who know.
-chuckles-

SO LONG~